As an adult child of an alcoholic with many other addicts in my life, I learned early to beat myself up. I took verbal abuse from multiple family members and watched my mom lash herself regularly over her shortcomings. My partner, an addict himself with the family disease of alcoholism, has many of the same…
In high school I was the classic overachiever, excelling in school and sports while also caring for my siblings when my mom was suffering from a disabling depression. A neighbor in recovery suggested that I try out Al-Anon, so I went, but only a few times. I was sure Al-Anon wasn’t for me. Since neither…
A former husband was my “qualifier” for 12 Step recovery. When he first attempted sobriety, I was very excited to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with him, but soon learned that there was a program for friends and families of alcoholics. “The dynamics of alcohol addiction were all over my childhood…. I absorbed fears and…
I grew up the angry son of an alcoholic mother and a rigidly controlling father. Later I went through a fair amount of therapy and by my forties I figured I was over the worst of the emotional triggering. I went to Al-Anon meetings for about 10 years but without really committing–a comfortable and familiar…
When I arrived at my first Al-Anon meeting, desperate and upset about a family member, I heard things that gave me hope. But the Twelve Steps’ talk of “God” made me very uncomfortable. A lifelong atheist, I had no desire to “get religion.” Moreover, I disapproved of those who thought differently. Now I seemed to…
One of the good things that came out of the pandemic is access to many more Al-Anon meetings. For a long time I attended one weekly in-person meeting. Sometimes I would attend more if I was having a particularly hard week, or if my schedule was not too busy. But most weeks I went only…
I came into Al-Anon shortly after I’d gotten sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, at my sponsor’s suggestion, and I’ve been active in both programs for nearly 30 years. I find that Al-Anon and AA complement each other in amazing ways. I couldn’t have started doing my Al-Anon work if I hadn’t gotten sober first, because my…
Many people mistakenly think Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous are the same thing. The confusion is understandable, since both programs use the Twelve Steps and group support to help people recover from the effects of alcoholism. Moreover, the names are undeniably similar. The two fellowship’s purposes are different, though. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA for short) seeks to…
When it became apparent that my husband’s drinking was “out of control,” he joined Alcoholics Anonymous. I thought, “OK, now our life will go back to normal.” When he relapsed a year later it felt like a punch in the gut. I spiraled into dark thoughts: “Why isn’t this working? Are we doomed to repeat…